Game Over

A while back before me and my fiancé even met, I was talking to this other guy, me and my friend both were. Then me and my fiancé met and started dating and then we broke up for a few months, then got back together, its been two years we've been together and now the guy I used to talk to is saying that I've been talking to him recently and now my fiancé doubts me. I feel like such an utter piece of shit, I cant eat, I cant focus I cant sleep and I cant stop crying. Hopefully I'm not single by the end of the night. I don't even feel like going out tonight. I hate myself and all of my mistakes. I just wanted to be happy and be in love and now I regret that. I regret everything, I just really really REALLY hate myself and I cant stop. I don't know what I am going to do. I cant move in with my parents they don't have room, I cant go to seattle because it costs so much, and I'm working on getting my social security number, because I don't have it, so I cant work. And I cant go to colorado becasue me mom is up there and if i see her its just going to be too painful. I have no where to go and I... I just really fucking want to die. I'm so broken and sick of all this hell that i drag people in. I dont know what I'm going to do, I think that this is the end of the line. I really do. I cant move forward, there are no moves left. Thats it game over. The end. I dont feel guilty becasue it was a long time ago, its just he doubts me. I'm going to ask him if he wants to break up, or if he regrets getting back with me. I just dont want to cause him anymore pain. I dont have many friends becasue of drama, I sit at home all day while he works, I sleep a lot, I barely eat and yet stupid fucking mistakes come back to haunt me. I am so fucking done.. I do hardly anything and yet all this shit happens. All Of this horrible, horrible things happen. I have nothing. I have no one. Like i said.. Game Over.

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