I cried so much last night. I just want to be happy, like damn why is happiness so hard to come by? I am so tired of fighting, and so tired of pretending that I'm ok and that i can do this. I hate myself, and I know that I'm just a fucking burden to everyone. I honestly just want to be done, I want to curl up in a ball and die. I am so fucking tired, my soul is so old and so done. I'm cutting again, I cant its never going to get better.